Life has a way of spiralling, doesn’t it? One minute you’re managing fine, the next you’re running on fumes, forgetting appointments, eating meal deals at your desk for the third day in a row, and wondering when you last had a proper conversation with anyone that wasn’t about deadlines or bills.
If you’re feeling like life is moving too fast and you’re just trying to keep up, you’re not alone. The pace of modern life, particularly in the UK where long commutes and always-on work culture are increasingly common, can leave you feeling perpetually behind and stressed.
The thing is, you can’t actually slow down time. But you can redesign your routine in ways that make life feel more manageable, less chaotic, and a bit more like you’re actually living rather than just surviving.
Why Your Current Routine Isn’t Working
Before jumping into solutions, it’s worth understanding why so many of us end up with routines that make us feel worse rather than better.
Most people don’t actually design their routines. They just happen. You take on a new responsibility at work, add it to your plate. Your kids start a new activity, you fit it in somehow. A friend needs help moving house, you say yes even though you’re already stretched thin.
Over time, your routine becomes this Frankenstein’s monster of commitments, obligations, and habits that nobody would deliberately choose if they were starting from scratch.
Emma Richardson, a life coach based in Leeds, puts it this way: “People come to me feeling overwhelmed, and when we look at their schedule, there’s literally no white space. Every minute is accounted for, and there’s no buffer for when things go wrong, which they inevitably do. Then they’re playing catch-up constantly.”
The other issue is that many of us design our routines around what we think we should be doing rather than what actually works for us. Just because someone else thrives on 5am workouts doesn’t mean you will. Just because meal prepping on Sundays works for your mate doesn’t mean it’s the right solution for you.
Start With An Honest Audit Of Your Time
You can’t fix what you don’t understand. For one week, track how you actually spend your time. Not how you think you spend it, but how you really spend it.
Use your phone’s notes app, a notebook, or a simple spreadsheet. Every few hours, jot down what you’ve been doing. Include everything: work, commuting, scrolling social media, watching telly, cooking, cleaning, helping the kids with homework, worrying whilst staring at the ceiling.
This isn’t about judgement. It’s about information.
At the end of the week, look for patterns. You’ll probably spot things like:
- Tasks that take way longer than you thought
- Time disappearing into activities you don’t even enjoy
- Chunks of the day where you’re just reacting rather than doing anything purposeful
- Moments where you’re trying to do too many things at once and doing none of them well
I did this exercise a few years ago and realised I was spending nearly two hours a day on social media, most of it whilst feeling rubbish. That was a wake-up call.
Work Out What Actually Matters To You
This sounds obvious, but it’s surprising how many of us are busy with things that don’t actually align with what we care about.
Grab a piece of paper and write down your top five priorities. Not what you think they should be, but what they genuinely are right now.
Maybe it’s your health, your relationship, your career, seeing your parents more, or finally getting your finances sorted. Maybe it’s simply having more time to yourself that doesn’t involve collapsing in front of Netflix because you’re too knackered to do anything else.
Once you’ve got your list, look at that time audit from the previous week. How much of your time is actually going towards those priorities? If there’s a massive mismatch, that’s where the stress is probably coming from.
The Power Of Saying No (And Meaning It)
Here’s an uncomfortable truth: you cannot redesign your routine to feel less overwhelming without removing things. You can’t just add calming activities on top of an already overloaded schedule.
Saying no is hard, especially for people who are naturally helpful or worry about letting others down. But every time you say yes to something that doesn’t serve you, you’re saying no to something that might.
Start with the easy nos
Look at your commitments and identify the things you do purely out of obligation or guilt, that drain you, and that you could reasonably step back from.
Maybe it’s that evening class you signed up for months ago but now dread. Maybe it’s agreeing to organise the office collection for everyone’s birthday. Maybe it’s staying on that WhatsApp group that’s just a constant stream of complaints.
Practice the soft no
You don’t need to be blunt or rude. Try responses like:
- “I’d love to help but I’m already committed that day”
- “That sounds great but I need to focus on other priorities right now”
- “I can’t take that on, but have you tried asking so-and-so”
- “Let me check my schedule and get back to you” (then actually check and decide properly, don’t just automatically say yes)
Remember that no is a complete sentence
You don’t owe everyone a detailed explanation for your choices. Sometimes “I can’t do that” is enough.
Build In Buffer Time For When Life Happens
One of the biggest sources of stress is having a routine that only works if everything goes perfectly. Spoiler: things never go perfectly.
Stop scheduling back to back everything
If a meeting ends at 2pm, don’t schedule the next thing for 2pm. Give yourself 15 minutes. This allows for overruns, a quick toilet break, gathering your thoughts, or just breathing.
I used to pack my days so tightly that if one thing ran late, the entire day collapsed like dominoes. Now I build in gaps, and it’s made a massive difference to my stress levels.
Plan for less than you think you can do
Most of us overestimate what we can achieve in a day and underestimate how long tasks take. If you think something will take an hour, schedule 90 minutes.
This isn’t being pessimistic, it’s being realistic. When you actually finish things in the time you’ve allocated, you feel accomplished rather than behind.
Create transition time between different types of activities
Your brain needs time to switch gears between focused work, social interactions, creative tasks, and physical activities. Even 5 to 10 minutes can help.
After a stressful work call, take a quick walk before starting the next task. After getting home from work, change clothes and take five minutes to sit quietly before diving into evening responsibilities.
Batch Similar Tasks Together
Constantly switching between different types of tasks is exhausting for your brain. Grouping similar activities can make your routine feel less chaotic.
Examples of batching:
- Do all your errands in one trip rather than multiple short trips throughout the week
- Set specific times for checking emails rather than constantly monitoring your inbox
- Prep multiple meals at once if cooking daily feels overwhelming
- Handle all your admin and paperwork in one dedicated session rather than picking at it throughout the week
Sarah, a teacher from Bristol, told me she used to do laundry whenever she noticed the basket getting full, which meant she was doing small loads almost daily. Now she does it all on Sunday afternoons whilst catching up on podcasts, and it’s one less thing cluttering her weeknight routine.
Identify Your Non-Negotiables
When life gets hectic, the first things to go are usually the things that actually help us cope with stress. Exercise disappears, healthy eating goes out the window, sleep gets sacrificed, time with friends gets pushed back.
Pick two or three things that make you feel human and make them non-negotiable. These are the things you protect even when everything else is chaos.
For some people, that’s a morning coffee without rushing. For others, it’s a Sunday morning lie-in, a weekly phone call with their best mate, or a evening walk.
My non-negotiables are reading before bed and a proper sit-down breakfast at weekends. When I’m protecting those, everything else feels more manageable.
Front-Load Your Difficult Tasks
There’s something called decision fatigue. As the day goes on, making choices and doing hard things becomes more difficult. Your willpower is basically a battery that depletes.
Tackle your most challenging or important tasks earlier in the day when you’ve got more mental energy. Leave the easier, more routine stuff for later.
This might mean doing the difficult phone call you’re dreading at 10am rather than putting it off until 4pm. Or getting your workout done in the morning rather than promising yourself you’ll do it after work when you’re knackered.
Create Evening Routines That Actually Set You Up For Success
How you end your day massively impacts how the next day begins. A good evening routine doesn’t need to be complicated or time-consuming.
The brain dump
Before bed, spend five minutes writing down everything that’s on your mind. Tasks you need to do, things you’re worried about, random thoughts cluttering your head.
This simple act of getting it out of your brain and onto paper helps many people sleep better and wake up with a clearer head.
Prepare for tomorrow
Decide what you’re wearing, pack your bag, prep your lunch if you’re taking one, check you’ve got your keys and phone. Doing this before bed rather than in the morning removes multiple decision points from a typically rushed time.
Have a hard stop time for screens
The endless scroll before bed isn’t relaxing, it’s stimulating. Pick a time to put your phone down and stick to it. If you must keep your phone in the bedroom, at least plug it in somewhere you can’t reach from bed.
Simplify Your Morning To Reduce Daily Stress
Morning chaos sets a stressful tone for the entire day. Making your morning routine as simple and streamlined as possible pays dividends.
Reduce the number of decisions you need to make
Some people do a capsule wardrobe where everything matches everything else. Some people lay out clothes the night before. Some people literally wear the same thing every day.
The point isn’t the specific solution, it’s reducing the mental load.
Wake up at the same time every day
Yes, even weekends. Your body likes consistency. Going to bed and waking up at roughly the same time makes it easier to actually get up when your alarm goes off rather than hitting snooze five times.
Build in something you actually enjoy
Your morning shouldn’t just be a series of tasks you have to get through before the day starts. Include something small that you look forward to, whether that’s a nice coffee, 10 minutes reading the news, listening to a favourite podcast, or sitting in the garden if it’s not raining.
Use Technology To Your Advantage, Not Your Detriment
Technology can make your routine easier or it can make it more chaotic. Be intentional about how you use it.
Automate what you can
Set up recurring payments for bills so you’re not constantly remembering to pay things. Use online shopping with saved lists for your regular groceries. Set reminders for things you always forget.
But also disconnect regularly
Turn off non-essential notifications. You don’t need to know immediately every time someone likes your Instagram post or comments in a group chat.
Set specific times to check your phone rather than having it constantly pulling your attention. Put it in another room when you need to focus.
Use apps that actually help
A shared family calendar can reduce the mental load of coordinating schedules. A simple to-do list app can get tasks out of your head. A meditation app might help with stress.
But don’t fall into the trap of spending more time managing productivity apps than actually being productive.
Accept That Some Days Will Just Be Rubbish
Even with the best routine in the world, some days are going to be chaotic and stressful. Kids get sick, work emergencies happen, the boiler breaks, trains get cancelled.
Building flexibility into your routine means accepting that it won’t always work perfectly, and that’s fine.
Have a simplified version of your routine for difficult days. Know what you can let slide and what actually needs to happen. On really tough days, getting everyone fed and getting to bed at a reasonable time might be the only goals, and that’s enough.
Check In And Adjust Regularly
A routine that works brilliantly in January might feel completely wrong by June. Life changes, circumstances change, you change.
Every few months, take some time to review your routine. What’s working well? What’s making you feel stressed or overwhelmed? What needs to change?
This isn’t about constantly overhauling everything. It’s about making small adjustments so your routine continues to serve you rather than feeling like something you have to fight against.
Get Your Partner Or Household On Board
If you live with other people, redesigning your routine works better when everyone understands what you’re trying to do.
Have a conversation about what’s not working and what you want to change. If your partner is used to you handling certain things and you want to redistribute responsibilities, that needs to be discussed.
Be specific. Instead of “I need more help,” try “Can you take over bath time on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I can go to that class?”
Fair doesn’t always mean equal
In any household, responsibilities won’t always be split exactly 50/50, and that’s fine as long as both people feel the distribution is fair and sustainable.
What matters is that one person isn’t carrying the entire mental load while the other just helps out occasionally.
Consider What You Can Outsource Or Simplify
This isn’t just for wealthy people. Sometimes spending a bit of money in strategic places can buy you back time and reduce stress significantly.
Maybe it’s getting your shopping delivered instead of spending two hours at the supermarket every week. Maybe it’s hiring someone to clean your house once a month. Maybe it’s using a laundry service for your bedding.
Or maybe outsourcing isn’t financial. Maybe it’s asking family to help with childcare one afternoon a week, or setting up a carpool with other parents for school runs.
Look at the tasks that drain you most and see if there’s a way to remove them from your plate entirely.
Be Honest About Energy Levels Throughout Your Day
You’ve probably noticed you have natural energy peaks and dips throughout the day. Most people have more mental energy earlier in the day, whilst some people are genuinely more alert in the evening.
Schedule your routine around your energy patterns rather than fighting against them.
If you’re sharpest in the morning, that’s when to tackle work that requires focus. If you’re dead on your feet by 8pm, stop trying to be productive then. If you’re a night owl, stop forcing yourself into a morning person’s routine.
The Mental Load Problem Needs Addressing
For many people, particularly women, the stress isn’t just about the tasks themselves. It’s about being the person who has to remember everything, coordinate everything, and keep all the plates spinning.
If you’re the one who remembers your partner’s mum’s birthday, knows when the MOT is due, tracks when the kids need new shoes, and organises all the social plans, that mental load is exhausting even before you do any of the actual tasks.
Solutions that can help:
- Use a shared calendar where everyone can see appointments and deadlines
- Create systems where certain people are responsible for certain areas completely, not just helping when asked
- Write down processes for recurring tasks so anyone can do them
- Have regular planning sessions where you coordinate as a household rather than one person holding all the information
Lower Your Standards Where It Doesn’t Really Matter
This might sound controversial, but perfectionism is exhausting and often unnecessary.
Your house doesn’t need to be spotless all the time. Dinner doesn’t need to be Instagram-worthy every night. Your kids can wear mismatched socks occasionally. You don’t need to reply to every message immediately.
Work out what actually matters to you and where you can afford to care a bit less. The freed-up mental energy is worth it.
Build In Regular Breaks That Aren’t Just Collapsing
Rest is different from just stopping when you’re too exhausted to continue. Proper rest is intentional and restorative.
This might be a weekly activity that recharges you, whether that’s seeing friends, being in nature, doing something creative, or literally just having a few hours to yourself without anyone needing anything from you.
Guard this time. It’s not selfish, it’s maintenance. You can’t run on empty indefinitely.
When Professional Help Might Be Needed
If you’ve tried restructuring your routine and you’re still feeling constantly overwhelmed, anxious, or unable to cope, that’s worth talking to your GP about.
Sometimes what feels like a time management problem is actually anxiety, depression, or burnout that needs proper support. There’s no shame in that, and getting help early can prevent things getting worse.
Similarly, if you’re in a situation where you’re genuinely doing too much because you’re a carer, single parent, or dealing with other significant responsibilities, you might benefit from support services available through your local council or relevant charities.
The Reality Of Changing Your Routine
Redesigning your routine when you’re already stressed and overwhelmed isn’t easy. It requires making decisions and changes when you’re already at capacity.
Start small. Pick one or two things from this article that resonated most and implement just those. Give it a few weeks. Once those changes feel normal, add something else.
You’re not trying to achieve some perfect, optimised life. You’re just trying to make your daily routine feel less like drowning and more like living.
Some changes will work brilliantly. Others won’t suit you at all, and that’s fine. The goal is finding what works for your life, not copying someone else’s.
You Deserve A Life That Feels Manageable
Life in the UK right now is genuinely demanding. Long working hours, expensive housing that often means long commutes, the pressure to be constantly available, and the cost of living making everything harder.
You’re not imagining it. It is a lot.
But within that reality, you still have choices about how you structure your days and what you prioritise. Those choices might be smaller than you’d like, but they’re real.
A routine that works with your life rather than against it won’t fix everything. But it can make the difference between feeling like you’re constantly drowning and feeling like you’re managing, most of the time, with occasional tough days rather than constant chaos.
That’s not a small thing. That’s actually massive.
